After a difficult conversation
A break of a few minutes for yourself, after a difficult conversation. You look back on what happened, what you feel and what you did well.
After a difficult conversation
After a difficult conversation
E-powerment
How to do it on paperAfter a difficult conversation
Take a few minutes for yourself. Answer the questions you want to answer, and skip the rest. Do not write down your client’s name or any other details about them.
Date:
Take a moment
Put your feet flat on the floor. Breathe in slowly once through your nose, and breathe out even more slowly.
What happened? In one sentence.
What are you feeling now? Tick what fits.
- tired
- empty
- angry
- sad
- powerless
- worried
- restless
- shaken
- moved
- guilty
- unsure
- disappointed
- relieved
- calm
- proud
- grateful
Another word:
What did you do well? Tick what is true.
- I stayed calm
- I listened well
- I stayed kind
- I was honest
- I made my limits clear
- I asked for help
- I ended the conversation well
What will you take with you?
What will you leave here?
Who would you like to share this with?
- A colleague
- My manager
- My peer supervision group
- My supervisor
Someone else:
Is the conversation still weighing on you?
Talk about it with your manager or with someone you trust. You can also ask for a conversation with the occupational health doctor (bedrijfsarts) yourself. Was there aggression, intimidation or discrimination? Then you can also go to your organisation’s confidential adviser (vertrouwenspersoon).
How it works
For after a conversation that stays with you. You take a few minutes for yourself, before you go to your next appointment.
- Start with one calm breath. Want to take longer? Then do the exercise Breathe.
- Answer five short questions: what happened, what you feel, what you did well, what you take with you and what you leave here, and who you want to share it with.
- At the end, your answers are on a card. Want to keep it, for example for your peer supervision? Then copy the text, or print the card with Print.
- Start again clears everything. If you close the page, everything is gone too.
Why these steps
The exercise follows the advice for professionals who work with children and young people: take your feelings seriously, share them with others and take good care of yourself. Breathing calmly and being in contact with others are common advice for stress, and talking or writing things down can help you understand your situation. That is why you breathe first, then write things down, and then think about who to share it with.
The exercise does not replace peer supervision, supervision or a conversation with your manager.
If it keeps weighing on you
- Talk about it with your manager, a colleague or someone else you trust.
- You can ask for a conversation with the occupational health doctor (bedrijfsarts) yourself, even if you are not ill. The occupational health doctor does not tell your employer that you went. Are you self-employed and do you not have an occupational health doctor? Then you can go to your GP.
- Was there aggression, intimidation or discrimination? Then you can also go to your organisation’s confidential adviser (vertrouwenspersoon). They treat what you tell them in confidence.
Prefer paper
Choose Print before you reach your card. Then you get the questions with empty lines and boxes to tick. You can keep a few sheets ready.
Your data
What you fill in is not saved and not sent. Spellcheck is turned off in the text fields. Otherwise some browsers and writing tools send your text to a server to check the spelling. Do not write down your client’s name or any other details about them either: that way your card stays yours alone, on paper too.
Sources
- Nederlands Jeugdinstituut (Netherlands Youth Institute), Een schokkende gebeurtenis op het werk (external website). Read on 30 September 2026.
- Thuisarts.nl, Ik wil beter omgaan met stress (external website) (updated 12 February 2026). Read on 30 September 2026.
- Thuisarts.nl, Ik wil met de bedrijfsarts praten over hoe het met me gaat (external website) (updated 6 October 2025). Read on 30 September 2026.
- Arboportaal, Vertrouwenspersoon (external website). Read on 30 September 2026.
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